Even though I have a journalism degree

Image for post
Image for post
Source: Jaye Hannah Instagram

If you grew up in the 2000s, being a journalist looked pretty damn cool. I loved reading fashion magazines and I looked forward to getting my new issues of Seventeen and Teen Vogue in the mail each month. A lot of my favorite movies in high school-mostly rom-coms like How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days featured female protagonists writing for magazines or newspapers in New York City.

So I was gonna do the same. I started college in 2009 at a local state university in North Dakota where I’m from, with the goal of eventually moving to NYC to write for Vogue.


He’s gotta come at some point

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Gabor Papp on Unsplash

It’s 10 AM on a Tuesday and Florida Man is up unusually early. He couldn’t sleep last night because he drank 10 cans of Monster energy drink while watching PornHub, so he decided to go for a walk around the mall to wear off some of his excess hyperactivity.

The place was pretty quiet and it was clear that this mall had seen better days. It looked trapped in the 90s and half the stores had gone out of business. The only other people there were a few employees and senior citizens. …


The riches may or may not be in the niches

Image for post
Image for post
Source: Jaye Hannah Instagram

If you’ve ever thought about starting a business or becoming a creator, you’ve probably heard the phrase “the riches are in the niches.” This popular piece of advice states that to be successful, you have to pick one or two niches and stick to them consistently.

The idea is that if you’re too broad, you’ll end up confusing your audience and they’ll go elsewhere.

So if you’re someone like me who has a wide variety of interests, this presents a dilemma.

On the one hand, you want your audience to stick around so you can make money from them. But on the other hand, the thought of limiting yourself to only one or two areas of interest sounds miserable. …


1. You hate your job

Image for post
Image for post
Photo: Andreas Klassen/Unsplash

Entrepreneurship seems to be what all the cool kids are doing in 2020.

Instead of looking up to famous actors and musicians, many of today’s young people idolize famous entrepreneurs like Gary Vee. Or Grant Cardone, Tai Lopez, or Steve Jobs, to name a few.

And there are countless business influencers all over Instagram, posing next to Lambos, wearing everything Gucci, and quoting passages from books like Think and Grow Rich. Many of them are teenagers or people in their 20s.

They make this flashy affluent lifestyle that used to seem available only to Hollywood stars and trust fund kids now seem achievable to everyone via entrepreneurship.


Fuck bitches. Get money.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Zachary Keimig on Unsplash

Today is Friday and Florida Man needs some extra cash to buy drugs for the weekend. But unfortunately selling his body on Craigslist never panned out, so he has to get money the old school way. By getting a job.

But where, exactly? Well, that’s a good question.

“Damn, I don’t think I’m smart enough to be an investment banker. Who else is hiring?” he thought to himself while sitting naked on the couch and smoking a bowl.

So he turned on the TV hoping for an answer. TV commercials always seemed to point Florida Man in the right direction.

“Ooh yeah, shit I bet Wal-Mart will hire me! I should apply at the one Florida Woman works at. …


Let’s get this bread!

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Mae Mu on Unsplash

It’s been another rough day for Florida Man here in Orlando. He just got banned from his local Publix store after getting caught shoplifting too many times, so now he needs to find another way to fill his belly.

But thankfully a new restaurant just opened up a few blocks away from his house. And he recognized the name after seeing it in TV commercials during American Idol. It was kind of a miracle that he remembered it, considering that Florida Man never watches Idol while sober.

It was called Panera Bread.

“Oooh, that’s that fancy shit sandwich place I saw in the commercials,” he exclaimed upon noticing the building. …


Not all men only want sex

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Farsai Chaikulngamdee on Unsplash

I used to be very unlucky when it came to love. I probably met hundreds of guys during my early and mid-20s, most of whom either hurt my feelings or ended up being losers or just not compatible.

The longest I dated anyone during that time period was two months and we never put a label on it.

At the time, I believed this was all my fault. I believed I was simultaneously too picky, yet not good enough for a relationship, and that was why I remained single for so long.

It was very confusing because I knew that I was a catch on paper. I was attractive, intelligent, ambitious and financially stable, and a generally nice person to everyone. …


I didn’t believe my dreams were realistic

Image for post
Image for post
Source: Jaye Hannah Instagram

When I was in high school, my dream was to be a creator.

I was gonna leave my bumfuck nowhere small town in the Midwest and move to Los Angeles to become a model/actress and write for a magazine.

This was in the late 2000s, before social media was really a thing like it is now. So I thought I’d have to do it the old school way.

And now at 29, I can finally call myself a creator. …


Why do we need to pick one?

Image for post
Image for post
Source: Jaye Hannah Instagram

I’m currently in the process of rebranding myself on Instagram so I can promote myself as a writer on there. Because the person I was on Instagram and the person I was on Medium used to be very different. Instagram was my platform for showing off my fashion sense as a model and influencer, while Medium was where I showed off my talent as a writer.

I feel like when most people hear the word “writer” though, the stereotype that comes to mind is of a very studious-looking person wearing Harry Potter-esque glasses and plain black clothing sitting in a library or a coffee shop. At least’s that’s what I saw when I typed the word “writer” into Google image search. …


Clothes are for losers

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Armin Lotfi on Unsplash

It’s another hot and humid summer day here in Orlando and Florida Man has been getting bored. The COVID-19 pandemic has been rough on him and he’s now in desperate need of entertainment. He may be just now waking up and still feeling hungover at 3 pm, but that doesn’t mean he wants to lie in bed all day.

So after consuming an entire bottle of Barefoot Pinot Grigio and a bag of Flamin’ Hot Doritos for breakfast, he came up with a brilliant idea for a game to play. …

About

Jaye Hannah

Your fun BFF who also works hard. Blogger and comedy screenwriter. Former college newspaper editor. Midwestern girl in Los Angeles 💜 Instagram: @jaye.hannah

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store